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Dawne - October 11th, 2010 8:54 AM

So, how many think bullying happens in kindergarten? I have a feeling that my daughter has hooked up with a bully in school. I am not confident she is being bullied but, knowing bullies, she may well become this girls target, one day. My daughter is that nice kid, you know, the one who thinks everyone is her friend and is just baffled when kids are not nice. She cries when she watches sad movies and is a bleeding heart for animals. She is just a sensitive, nice kid. I am afraid, when the time comes, she will not stand up to defend herself. I am afraid she will be hurt by the actions of the other kids and will try to make up for it rather than see it for what it is. Anyone with older kids or knowledge in this area have advice or links to books or papers so that I can arm myself and help her learn to defend herself?

Seny - October 22nd, 2010 5:56 PM

my daughter is the same way and I have already dealt with this. Their was a group of kids SCREAMING in my daughters face on the playground. I asked her why and she said they were trying to scare me and I asked them to stop and they wouldnt. So I emailed her teacher and let her know what was going on. I may be the crazy mom that is over protective of my girls, but Ill be damn is some little brat is going to pick on my kid becuz their parents have bad parenting. Sorry..it still makes me mad, but just keep in touch with her teacher and talk to your daughter. She will tell you if something is happening that she doesnt like.

Aunt1984 - October 22nd, 2010 5:57 PM

Can you volunteer in the classroom, help out at recess, etc? That will give you a clearer picture of what is going on and what that little girl is like.

I was a kinder teacher before I had kids and there are definitely queen bees even at that age. Often it is not "bullying" as we think of it, but girls definitely tend to use exclusion as their tool. You aren't my friend today, you aren't invited to my party, etc. One girl will be the leader and everyone else wants to follow. It seems so wrong but it happens all the time. You hope the queen bee is nice but often she isn't. Don't take it as a reflection of the parents, though. I've seen the nicest kids come from the most screwed up parents and vice versa.

Can you set up some playdates with other girls in the class? Maybe talk to the teacher and see who else your dd gravitates toward or has a similar personality. It may be that this is your daughter's best friend this year, but next year they get split into different classes and don't even interact. My 3rd grader doesn't have any of the same bff's now as she did in kindy.

MamaRoche - October 22nd, 2010 5:59 PM

Yup, there's bullying in Kindergarten. My friend's son was in a Kindergarten class where only two kids were not involved in either giving or receiving and that was 2001. My friend's son was one of the two, though he's turned out to be a sneaky ring leader at 14 so who know what's he's doing today.

I second the becoming a room mother. You totally get to be in the know that way. If you can't do that, I'd start talking to dd about bullying, maybe look for a library book. Another friend of my is dealing with a bullying situation with her ds that began in First grade and is still happening on the Second grade playground. Her son is like your daughter in that he believes that if you're nice to everyone, everyone will be nice to you. All I can say is this has been a hard lesson for the boy.

Vanity101 - October 22nd, 2010 6:00 PM

Yes, there is definitely bullying in Kindy.

Last semester a letter was sent out to all parents as there was bullying in the class two grades above my daughter's (at that time) the 5yo-6yo class. Anyway they have a strict no bullying policy and well monitored playing field but even so, the children who were being bullied didn't say anything until a teacher say what happened and then the whole truth came out about it.

I would gently recommend to your daughter that she plays with someone else and perhaps talk to her teacher about it. Also remind her that if anything was to happen, that she can always let her teacher know about it and that it is OK.

Ugh just writing about bullying freaks me out!

CrazyEye - October 22nd, 2010 6:04 PM

One thing that will definitely help her in the future, is you should let her feel or assure her that she can tell you anything that is happening around her. Having your daughter open up to you, will really have it's advantages. That way you'd know what's going on with her and you can help her when she needs you.

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