It's a Mom's World Home

you may want to take him for a one or overnight getaway so you both can relax and have time with each other to tackle on different things that happened and may happen to your life. you can even arrange a dinner for two even in a not so fancy restaurant or you can just do it at home, preparing his favorite foods for dinner while you let all your kids sleep or go up stairs early so both of you can make quality time all alone and rekindle the spark for once.

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maybe something has went wrong with your marriage relationship. did you ever consider him having an elicit affair? we women can't just be that confident, maybe it's possible right.

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From his response, it sounds like he feels forgotten about and like he's not getting any attention from you. Have you tried starting date nights with him and focus on 'no-kid' talk? i've heard men get really need around kids...like territorial! As in "I was here first...you should pay attention to me too!"

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I am in the same boat..so I can't advise, but stay strong, listen to your heart, and keep your head up!

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I think this is a work in process for most, if not all couples. It's hard enough to begin with but as we all know having kids makes it that much more challenging. We have our ups and downs, and I imagine we always will. We had a big adjustment period in the latter part of our first boy's first year of life...I felt like we just lived together and took care of our child, we were disconnected on so many levels. All couples are different, but communication was what we needed to work on. We both needed to let go of our pride - mine of 'not being nagging' and his of 'being a man.' Neither of us liked 'arguing,' due to our upbringing - mine with constantly arguing parents, his with parents who never, ever disagreed in front of their children. We hit a bunch of bumps, but I think we both learned to recognize our needs and voice them to each other without feeling needy or blaming/feeling blamed. Once we started to do this frequently, in small increments (before it got all bottled up and it was impossible to talk them out reasonably), I think it got a lot easier, we continue to learn more about each other and ourselves, and how we need to continue to make adjustments as our family evolves. Of course as a man (or most men, sorry to stereotype), he had a longer way to go to reach a point where he was comfortable to say "I feel/need." I think men need a lot of encouragement to feel that it's ok and necessary to let us know what's going on. And men and women communicate so differently - I still have to work really hard to choose my words carefully, he seems to pick up only the 'facts,' and so immediately gets defensive about what he is or isn't doing - whereas I'm simply talking about how something made me feel, and would like to figure out a way together to find a compromise. Sorry this is long - but this is our story, don't know if it helps...Good Luck!

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We are in the same position. Our life is our kids, and sometimes it feels like there is no time for us as a couple. But, keep trying to talk. It sounds like the more you show that you are interested in what your husband has to say, the more he will say it.

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Datenights would be a great idea! But for most couples its not feasible to have a babysitter there every week, so if you need to have dinner for the kids and when they ask why you aren't eating you can make a really big deal about how excited you are cause you and daddy are having a date night! (Make sure DH hears how excited you are!) Maybe sometimes include them in giving you fun ideas for your date! Then after the kids go to bed, the 2 of you can make dinner together and eat together and play games or watch a movie or do the dishes together or fold laundry. If you were like me and my DH we didn't always go out when we were dating, we would be at one of our places just spending time together. Try to make it like you were dating. There is a reason that you fell in love, so find that spark again! Just enjoy each other. Sometimes i catch my husband in the kitchen or somewhere other than the bedroom and tell him kiss me like you want me(in a really sexy voice). And I kiss him back like I want him! All we do is kiss but it definitely brings back a spark! Your "dates" might keep you up late and your kids might get up early, but if it's once a week its manageable.

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