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heartofgold - October 25th, 2010 9:24 PM

hi everyone, i married a man that has 2 kids with his first wife. he is a lot older than me and his 2 kids are already in their teens. i really want to reach out to them and be a mom. i know it is difficult on their part to accept me rightaway but i can wait. i did not realize how hard this will be for me to take especially the silent treatment that they are giving me.

sarahlee - October 27th, 2010 9:13 PM

it will be big adjustment for both sides because you can't force them to accept you that easy as you have accepted them. if you try to think about it you are not in the same phase. you should have thought about it before you committed yourself.

**alexa** - October 27th, 2010 10:15 PM

i really feel for you heartofgold. i can't say that i do understand your situation because i've never been to such even being at the children's part. i just feel like normal humans do when being placed in such situation. my only advise is do not try to impress them and just be yourself for as long as you are doing what is right and you are not stepping on anyone else.

Stephanie… - October 27th, 2010 11:32 PM

For me, you don't have to do any effort at all because it is not your responsibility to win their hearts. Just do your part as a person, a wife maybe or if you already have children of your own a mother to them and a friend to your husband's children.

sahara - October 28th, 2010 2:49 AM

it's normal and yet this happens to other stepmoms and stepdads out there. but if you would really want them to accept you, then just be YOU. act as if you deserve to be treated like a mom, but never try to be just like their mom. just do the normal things a mother would do for their children and treat them like your own. even if they don't bother to bring back the good things you do, just leave it, they will learn to love you in perfect time. good luck. :)

sachi_leigh - October 30th, 2010 1:03 AM

yes indeed it's really hard for a step mom especially when the kids of your husband is not that open to the idea about their dad getting married but just stretch a bit more your patience. although the idea means stressing yourself a bit, but you will see an outcome sooner or later. :)

heartofgold - November 1st, 2010 11:58 PM

thanks for all your comforting words here. i have adjusted a bit to the situation and i know i can handle this. i know that i can't take the place of their mom, that is acceptable fact. i will just live with the natural flow.

Kathy26 - November 7th, 2010 10:14 PM

I am just interested in your topic because I can relate to the kids of your husband. I also had a stepmom and we don't get along well. I am open to the fact that my father will remarry the only problem is my stepmom's cranky attitude, just could not adjust to it.

ELENA - November 7th, 2010 11:04 PM

I HAVE EXPERIENCED LIVING WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND WITH 2 KIDS. THEY ARE OK BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL IN THEIR TEENS AND WE GOT ALONG WELL BECAUSE I DO TOOK CARE OF THEIR NEEDS LIKE A MOTHER. I EVEN HAD LOVED THEM LIKE MY OWN KIDS, ALTHOUGH I NEVER HAD KIDS ON MY OWN. OUR RELATIONSHIP JUST DID NOT WORK OUT.

redrose - November 11th, 2010 10:36 PM

it is good if the children are still young because it is easier to win their heart than the those who are already adults. you just have to deal with it and also check your limits if you can still be patient about it.

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