Child Discipline: Negative Reinforcement Traps
The negative reinforcement trap frequently occurs between a mother and
her son, although it can certainly happen with daughters too. The negative
reinforcement trap occurs when a parent makes a request to their child
and instead of following the request, the child negotiates or pleads their
way out of fulfilling that request.
The negotiating and pleading is certainly not the behavior that the parent wishes for, but to put an end to the endless pleading they drop the request. The child then learns that to get out of complying with a parent’s demands, they simple need to wheedle their way out by complaining or begging.
Stop the Vicious Cycle From Happening
So how do you stop the negative reinforcement trap from occurring? Well,
be firm with your child as to their need to comply with your demands.
This means that when you do ask something of your child, it’s an
important enough demand that complying is necessary. In other words, don’t
put too many needless commands on your child or they won’t take
your demands seriously.
What if you’re already embroiled in a negative reinforcement trap
with your child? Then just start taking your discipline efforts seriously.
Emphasize to your child that they can’t negotiate about issues like
doing homework or performing household chores. Be gentle but firm. If
your child at first has trouble following your demands, then use appropriate
punishment, such as time-outs. For more information on discipline and
your child, read our rewards
and punishment article.
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