It's a Mom's World Home

Dad's Input for Self-Confidence

It is a Mom's World, especially when it comes to raising children. However, if Dad is in the picture he's got a big job to do as well, especially when it comes to imparting a sense of self-confidence to his kids.

How He Grew Up Affects Him

A lot of today's fathers have come from backgrounds that have not been exactly conducive to a strong sense of confidence. Perhaps their dads were away a lot or, if they were home they weren't very communicative. Maybe they didn't do anything with their children, no play time or one-on-one. It happens. And, when it does, it makes it a challenge for a man to be able to relate effectively with his children when they come along. Other men have grown up in a warm and accepting environment, making it much easier for them to replicate what they learned about self-confidence growing up.

Children Are Sensitive

What is important to know, regardless which camp a man comes from, is that it is possible to impart a healthy self-image to children by following some simple suggestions. It may even help the dad deal with some of his own self-concepts that aren't so healthy by learning how to build his children's self-confidence.

Children are very sensitive and fragile. They don't know how to divide their emotions from their parents' emotions, and as a result they pick up on everything that goes on. Remembering this fact will help to keep communication loving, accepting and edifying. Below are some tips for helping a father build a strong sense of self-confidence and acceptance into his children.

7 Tips to Build Self-Confidence in Children

1. From the very start - show love. That sounds like an odd thing to say, but by the time a baby is 18 months old he or she begins to develop a sense of being separate from mom and dad. The recognition that their identity is different can cause them consternation. That is why, from the first moment they arrive, Dad needs to show love and encouragement. By praising their abilities and recognizing their strengths expectations can be tailored to their temperament.

2. Praise with sincerity. It is very important to shower a child with praise when they accomplish something - it helps to build self-confidence. However, continual praising for the same task over and over again gets old and loses its power to build. It's a good idea to give ample praise for a task at hand, being specific, so the child has a good sense of accomplishment. For instance, "You were such a big help to Daddy when you brought the tools to me," is probably better than "Thanks for helping."

3. Self-sufficiency is empowering. A child given responsibility that is within his abilities will feel good about himself. Getting his own drink of juice, tying his own shoes, or putting his toys away helps him to become independent (and makes life easier for Mom and Dad.)

4. Allow the child to fail. This is probably one of the hardest things for a parent to do. When that little boy or girl takes on a task and fails at it, and the tears roll down their cheeks, a man's heart hurts for his child. However, failing isn't permanent it's a stepping stone to success. Don't let it be a camping spot, just a road stop.

5. Encourage the child to try new things. It doesn't take long for a child to become proficient at something, and like adults, once they've become proficient they may not want to try anything that smells like it might fail. But, in order to build on the successes, it is important to increase the difficulty of the task and allow for growth.

6. Focus on relationship rather than appearance. Growing up is darned hard. Kids go through phases - skinny, chubby, adorable, not so adorable, clear skin, pimples, great hair, and greasy hair. By the time they hit the older grades in school, they have already had several crushing blows when it comes to appearance and it is probably safe to say that self-confidence will likely not be established through their physical appearance - at least not in high school. Teaching children to focus on relationships helps them to become comfortable and secure in those connections allowing them to feel better about themselves.

7. Dad - be confident! Children emulate what they see and hear. If the example is set before them, they will model it. So, if Dad isn't feeling great about how he looks, it's pretty sure that his kids won't either. It might just be that Dad has to go through these steps himself in order to be in the place where he can give the gift to his kids.

One of the major cornerstones of success is self-confidence. Without it people don't try new things or dare to become all they can become. Applying these suggestions has the potential to instill successful thinking.